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27      Through With You

  Your mama says that you cannot hurry love, you just have to wait.

When I first met her, little did I know that she had been living on her own for twenty-something years, all by herself. She was a fine lady — how could anyone not place an interest in her? How could anyone resist her? She told me she was brokenhearted once. It was her true love — at least that was what she thought.

Different place, different person. She knew him from one of those Internet chatrooms. He chatted with her — or rather flirted — before taking a plunge to say “Hey, I like you, let’s be an item”. From then on, a long distance was born. A long, very long distance, mind you. Three years, a myriad of trips, several money transfer later (by her), the so-called relationship went down the drain. Just like that. No goodbyes, no tears, no handshakes. As if nothing had happened between the two.

I happened to know this woman. She was one of my colleagues. Apparently, she had had a five-year relationship with this guy with whom she had a three-year-old. A typical sentence would be “What? You guys broke up again?”. This time, though, it was for real. He said he could never go back to her, that he did not love her anymore. Did she deserve that? After all this time, she always cooked for him, everyday, even though she did not even know how to cook. Everytime she did it, she told me it was always out of love. She even bore the consequences to stay with him for the fact that ever since they had been together, he never spoilt her the way he used to. Everybody thought they were lovebirds forever. At the end, she was the one who was brokenhearted, more than anything.

There was another woman. She was not just pretty, she was fantastic. The company that produced Barbie dolls used to take her measurement and make her as their doll models. A man, whom she had gone out with for several years, cheated on her. Next thing, she went out with nine different guys within half-a-year, without any feeling whatsoever with any of them. She declared no man could posses her feeling, ever again. A result of a severe broken heart.

It was obvious, almost like a slap in the face, when this woman, that I knew of, went out for years with this man. There she was, pretty, intelligent, full-time employee. There he was, an average Joe, nonchalant, unemployed. She paid the bills, he sat at home. She went to work, he went to see his affair. She supported their child, he had the guts to support this other woman. At the end, she still loved him but could no longer live with him. Everyone said she was not thinking but she was just following her heart.

Love is blind. Love does not see one’s status. Love does not discriminate one’s race. Love is free for all. It is up to all of us to make it work, to play it safe, to place it in a decent way. Okay, it seems like this article is all about broken hearts by men. Perhaps you have a version or two of broken hearts by the others.

“Heartache, heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I’m through with you”

—Through With You - Maroon 5


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